Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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