I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
