just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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