at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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