my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No subtext here. People are naked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
