mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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