I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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