Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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