I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
