Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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