Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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