I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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