party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
