I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
