I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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