I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
