That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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