8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
