There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
