Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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