I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
