My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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