Me too!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Randomize