Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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