these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
