White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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