Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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