butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
