i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
