I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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