and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
