My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
