If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
