i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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