My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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