I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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