so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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