i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
