He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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