Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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