every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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