Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
