You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize