obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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