return my video game
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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