you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
