I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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