yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
