I am in a vortex of obligation.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
