mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
