Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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