Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
