3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
