We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
