hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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