i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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