just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just blew my weed a kiss
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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