tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
