we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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