I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
