guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
