Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
