Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize