The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
