Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
